I miss him so much. I miss him and I can’t believe what’s happened.
I need tonight. Going to go get drunk and forget.
I’m sorry about goodbye.
I’m sorry.  

I spent all of last year knowing I was less than second option to someone else and I still stuck around. You were one of my best friends.

I stuck around and waited for you while you were being a dickfuck. I was patient with you because you were the best thing I’ve ever had. I know I’ve been fucking annoying, but I was good to you. 

I don’t deserve all the bullshit you’ve put me through. Fuck you for all the lies and the promises. Fuck you for leading me to think you’d treat me better this time. Fuck you for not appreciating the second chance I gave. Sorry that I’m not happy with being there only when you’re bored. I started to hate you while you were gone. I was hoping when you’d come back that you would remedy it,  but instead you made it worse. I hate you. 

Promise me all these things. Go ahead. Suddenly come back to me and say beautiful words and tell me how hard you’re going to try. Tell me that you’ll prove I don’t have to be worried about us anymore. Promise me you’re here to stay and that you won’t do that to me again. Treat me like nothing ever happened. Go back to making comments as though I’m instantly yours again.

You have so much to make up for.
You put me through so much and you still are.
Since you came back, I’ve only been sadder.
You’re already acting like you don’t care.
You might feel like your doing things right, but only by you.
Consider me. If you want me, you have to act like it.
I didn’t expect things to go back to something so strong so quickly, but you were the one who decided that. You’re the one that needs to live up to what you promised.  

I hate you for what you’ve put me through. I hate you for leaving me so in the dark. I hate you for not telling me your feelings as they came up. I hate you for telling me the wrong things if they were going to change. I hate you for letting me love you. I hate you for letting me think you were coming back. I hate you for not telling me yes or no otherwise. I hate you for leaving so suddenly. I hate you that you still don’t discourage me. I hate you for not making sure I’m okay. I hate you for dropping off the face of the earth. I hate you for not caring. I hate you for not understanding. I hate you for not explaining. I hate you for making me hate you. 

I have the strangest feeling that if I got sex this weekend, that doing my homework right now would be easier. 

Logic is not present here.